TRAIN YOUR PET TO RELAX WHEN YOU'RE NOT HOME

Given a choice, your dog would probably prefer to go everywhere with you.

But for most dogs, the reality is that they live with a family who goes to work and school, leaving them with lots of alone time. While few dogs really like being alone, for some, the behavior problems that result -- called separation anxiety -- can put their very lives at risk.

Dogs who stress out when left alone may cause significant damage to themselves or their surroundings. Others may fill their time alone by frantically barking themselves to exhaustion. Faced with nonstop destruction or complaints from neighbors, some dog owners feel no choice but to take their pet to a shelter, where a dog with a serious behavior problem is a poor prospect for re-homing.

But it doesn't have to come to that.

If your dog has a hard time staying alone, you'll need patience, a plan, and possibly the help of a veterinary behaviorist, who can help you with that plan and prescribe medication to ease your dog's transition to good behavior. (Your dog's veterinarian can provide you with a referral to a behavior specialist.)

You'll need to build your dog's confidence by teaching him that comings and goings aren't forever. They're a normal part of his life with you. You need to relieve some of that excess energy by exercising him regularly -- most dogs, like most people, don't get enough exercise. And you need to minimize the damage potential while his confidence builds by confining him to a small area and giving him something else to concentrate on while you're gone besides how much he misses you.

Here are some strategies that may help your pet cope with his time alone. Remember, again, that a veterinary behaviorist can help you tailor a program that's best for you and your dog.

Feed your dog his biggest meal before he's about to spend his biggest chunk of time alone. What dogs do after they eat is sleep, and if you're lucky, he'll sleep most of your stay away.

Don't encourage your dog to be your shadow when you're home. All that devotion is wonderful and it feeds our human egos, but it's making matters worse when you leave. If you have a dog who isn't happy unless some part of him is touching some part of you, encourage his confidence and independence by not constantly reassuring and petting him when he demands attention.

Give him something special to chew. Have a really good chewy that's just for his alone time, and hand it to him as you leave. Stuff a marrow bone or Kong toy with a little peanut butter and broken biscuit bits. Digging out the good stuff will keep your dog busy, relieve him of some of that excess energy and help him over the worst part of his separation from you -- the beginning.

Practice no-fuss comings and goings. Some people unwittingly make matters worse by overdoing hellos and goodbyes. When you leave, calmly tell your dog "guard the house" and give him his special chewy. When you return, ignore him while you go through the mail, check the answering machine and so on. Then, tell him to "sit," and then praise him just the tiniest bit. The message you want him to get is that all this in-and-out is no big deal, so relax.

Don't punish your dog for destroying things. "But he knows he did something wrong," you say. "He's acting guilty." Not true. What he knows, from past experience, is that you're angry about something and he's going to get punished. He doesn't know why, and punishing a dog who doesn't understand what his "crime" was only serves to make him more anxious, not less.

Don't give up on your pup. Many a dog has learned over time that your leaving isn't a reason to panic. Yours can, too, especially if you get help from a veterinary behaviorist.